#31—Travel, Travel, and Stuff I've Learned Along the Way

Okay, let’s see. I just came from the nail salon where I found—after trying on five different nail polish colors (and I know this because the nice man had to remove a "tester" color from each finger and a thumb on my left hand)—the perfect color for me. It’s name, you wonder? “High Maintenance.” Sigh. Save your snark. I’m already on it.

Other than that, things have been quiet, though I have loads of travel coming up. Last week it was Denver, this week Hartford/Boston, at the end of April NYC. I’ve canceled a trip to Detroit in between because I think being gone every weekend for five weekends is too much travel, even for me.

Anyway, as I said, I just came from Denver where I didn’t drink nearly enough water and slept more than usual. I’ve since been told that both hydration and sleep cycles are affected by the ultra high altitude. I thought I was slacking off. Now I just feel like a victim: someone should have told us before we got on the ground in Denver the dos and don’ts of high altitude living! Harrumph.

I was there for the annual Association of Writers and Writing Programs conference. Every year four to five thousand folks attend these events. It depends, really, on where the thing is happening. For example, last year it was in Chicago and so everyone and their momma (and that’s literal) was there. Denver is a bit away from the East Coast which is writing program heavy, and so there were fewer people (or at least it felt like there were fewer people). It’s harder for students to get to places like Denver, for one. Also, as you know, the economy is terrible. There’s a lot of wallet-watching going on. Next year, however, the conference is in Washington, DC so I know it’ll be a madhouse. Wallet watching or no wallet watching.

As for the conference: it was good. While those of us who have been going for years chronically complain about how big the conference has gotten over the past seven or eight years, how much professionalism has become the order of the day (read: people checking out who is who and who can do what for them--blech!), it’s still always nice to see one’s friends once a year in a strange city and talk about writing and teaching and listen to the work of people you admire. I’m trying to get a new friend of mine, not a writer, but a reader, to attend next year’s conference. I think he’d be like a pig in slop. There are so many great readings at AWP. Dunno if he’ll do it. But he should.

I don’t have much to report other than that. I have run across some oddities this week. Here’s a list of what I know and/or what I’ve learned:


1. It’s probably not a good idea to have your hair cut in an airport hair salon.

2. The dog across the street, a very beautiful Doberman Pinscher, is communing with his inner wolf, the poor dear. He howls and howls and howls. But, man is he one good looking beast!

3. If you want to walk two miles between terminals, carting your luggage and with a shoulder bag that is unpleasantly heavy, make sure you get a ticket which requires you transfer flights in Minneapolis. Ugh. Whoever designed this airport was a creep.

4. Writers drink A LOT of liquor. But then, I knew this from MacDowell. It was further confirmed at AWP-2010.

5. When a woman in a bar asks to sit with you and a friend and proceeds to talk nonstop for ten minutes, never once asking for any information about you (other than for your business card, which you should not give her), do two things: 1) feign illness and beg your angels for forgiveness if they begin to rally for no reason, 2) walk quickly away.

6. Doh. When a good looking man in a bar asks if he can buy you a drink, say “Yes,” and “Thank you.” I just found out that that works nicely. Who knew.

7. If you’re ever in Denver, it’s worth the cab ride to get dinner at Queen of Sheba Ethiopian Restaurant. (and by the way, why is there always a Queen of Sheba Ethiopian Restaurant in every single city?!)

8. When going to a writer’s conference, pack sensible shoes unless you want your dogs to bark, howl, and pass out from exhaustion. (Or, if you rather, don’t try to be cute at a convention center where the goal of the space is actually to have you move over looooong distances on hard surfaces in bad lighting. No one can see your cuteness and, more importantly, no one cares.)

9. When on an airplane, thank God every time the guy sitting next to you isn’t scratching, picking, slurping or otherwise making himself completely disgusting.